Proceder de los Padres frente a la Expresión de Tristeza de los Hijos

Duarte, Tamara Elen; Brito, Bruna Franco Leite; Reis, Aline Henriques

doi:10.1590/1413-82712016210110

Brasil

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Papers • Psico-USF 21 (1) • Jan-Apr 2016 • https://doi.org/10.1590/1413-82712016210110 linkcopiar

Proceder de los Padres frente a la Expresión de Tristeza de los Hijos

Autoría SCIMAGO INSTITUTIONS RANKINGS

Resumen

Objetivos: Identificar los inductores de tristeza en los hijos según la percepción de sus padres; verificar estrategias de regulación emocional usadas por los padres y también comparar como ellos se comportan en relación a la tristeza de sus hijos.

Participantes: 26 parejas heterosexuales, edad media de 37 años, casadas o en unión estable con dos o más hijos, con edad entre 6 y 12 años, uno de cada sexo.

Delineamiento: estudios de casos colectivos.

Instrumentos: Cuestionario de Datos Generales; Criterio de Clasificación Económica Brasil; guion de entrevista conteniendo tres preguntas: "¿Qué suele dejar a su hijo triste?" "Relate una situación en que su hijo quedó triste." "¿Qué hizo usted en esa situación?; y una historia de estímulo.

Resultados: el padre tiende a castigar a los hijos frente a la reacción de tristeza y substituir algo perdido; ya las madres minimizan, o sea disminuyen la importancia de reacción emocional del niño, o del problema que la provocó. La reacción centrada en el problema fue la estrategia más usada por los padres frente a la tristeza de sus hijos.

Palabras clave: tristeza; regulación emocional; hijos; prácticas parentales

Categories	Description of the category
Illness or death	Loss and health problems in them selves or others, or some animal. Examples: Someone in the family or some pet is sick or dies, start to think that parents may die: "her grandmother's death" (F. 09); "when she gets sick" (F.12); and "when her guinea pig died" (M.17).
Physical/verbal aggression	Destructive and violent behavior towards the child, generate the feeling of sadness. Examples: situations in which the parents/peers fight with the child: "I spanked him in the toochie with that belt" (M.11); and "and then in the classroom there is a lot of 'Oh, that's ugly, you are so big'" (M.02).
Lack of social-emotional support	Sadness is related to the feeling of little attention and affection coming from people close to the child, such as parents, siblings, friends and teachers, as well as answers that express fear of abandonment or being alone. Examples: situations suc as being away from the parents or someone they care about; parents paying more attention to the sibling; promising an outing and cancelling; not getting attention, missing playing or hanging out with friends: "she sees I pay more attention to J." (M. 04); "...when there are games he`s trained for and I can`t go..." (F. 20); "When I was away for a few days" (F. 25).
Bad events	Negative news, thoughts and events in general that occur on the child's day-to-day life. Examples: occasions in which the child loses or ruins a toy, witnesses fights between the parents, experiences their break-up: "when I drink she gets sad" (F. 04); "when she loses a toy she likes very much" (M. 05); "If there is a fight between my husband and I" (M. 18).
School environment	Happenings related to the school, such as behaving inappropriately in this environment or academic failure. Examples: Problems in the school environment, issues with homework, and grade-related problems: "she was running for 'student that reads best' and ended up in second place" (F. 20); "doing badly in a test" (F. 17).
Lack of play time	The elicitor of sadness in this case is having no activities related to playing. Examples: Having nothing to do, no one to play with: "... so sometimes it happens that he goes play with a friend and they don`t play much" (M. 14).
Frustration/prohibition	Expectation as to an outcome and not reaching it, as well as situations when parents forbid them to do something. Examples: What the child wanted didn`t happen, parents forbidding something and getting criticism from them: "he doesn`t like to be crossed... if we call him out on something" (M. 01); "When we say 'no'" (M. 02); "she has already made up expectations and sometimes we just can`t" (M. 21).
Conflict between peers/siblings	The behavior of another child, that doesn`t involve aggressiveness, being siblings or peers, bother the child leading them to a feeling of sadness. Examples: Dispute between siblings over a toy or priorities regarding some activity, conflict with friends, sibling bothers the child: "this friend told her that if she got a doll like hers they wouldn`t be friends anymore" (M. 25); "when the brother switches the channel, when they fight over attention" (F. 21).
Don`t know/don`t recall	The participant describes not remembering the reasons that made their children sad. Examples: Not knowing, not recalling, believing the child doesn`t get sad: "I don`t know because I think sadness and anger get a little mixed" (M. 09).

Elicitor	*Number of fathers that said it		* Number of mothers that said it		**Total of father occurrences	** Total of mother occurrences	χ² (p) [fathers x mothers]
Elicitor	Boy	Girl	Boy	Girl	Boy and Girl	Boy and Girl
Don`t know/don`t recall	19.23% (5)	11.53% (3)	11.53% (3)	11.53% (3)	9.52% (8)	6.59% (6)	0.33 (0.566)
Illness or death	7.69% (2)	11.53% (3)	11.53% (3)	19.23% (5)	5.95% (5)	8.79% (8)	0.79 (0.374)
Physical/verbal aggression	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	11.53% (3)	7.69% (2)	1.19% (1)	5.49% (5)	2.83 (0.093)
Lack of social-emotional support	19.23% (5)	30.76% (8)	30.76% (8)	38.46% (10)	15.47% (13)	19.78% (18)	1.15 (0.284)
Bad events	15.38% (4)	15.38% (4)	34.61% (9)	38.46% (10)	9.52% (8)	20.87% (19)	6.05 (0.014)
Frustration/prohibition	84.61% (22)	69.23% (18)	61.53% (16)	57.69% (15)	47.61% (40)	34.06% (31)	3.59 (0.058)
School environment	7.69% (2)	19.23% (5)	3.84% (1)	3.84% (1)	8.33% (7)	2.19% (2)	1.09 (0.295)
Lack of play time	0% (0)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	0% (0)	1.09% (1)	1.01 (0.315)
Conflict between peers/siblings	0% (0)	7.69% (2)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	2.38% (2)	1.09% (1)	0.34 (0.558)
Total	41	43	44	47	84	91

Category	Description of the category
Adaptive strategies
Reaction focused on the problem	Consists of a talk related to the problematic situation, with the intention of resolving or reliving it. (Eisenberg et al., 1996; Cassano et al., 2007; Shields et al., 2001). Examples: investigating what happened; looking for solutions and trying to remember what the child did before the problematic situation: () "I ask what is going on, to know the reason and talk to her" (M. 06). (*) I use this a lot, 'oh, lets go on a quest, try to figure out where you lost it, when you last had it. When you left where it was, who you lent it to last." (F. 19).
Validation of emotions	Identifying the emotion that the child is expressing and encourage them to name it and talk about the emotional experience (Eisenberg et al., 1996; Cassano et al., 2007; Shields et al., 2001). Examples: parental expression of affection directing the child's attention and trying to comfort them: () so I hug her, cuddle..." (M. 04); "try to pay attention and ask, what do you want, if you take them in your arms it's going to be chicanery... (F. 26). (*) "I was going to comfort him..." (F. 04).
Unadaptive strategies
Distraction	Parental Action that softens the vehemence of the child's emotion, directing their attention towards another event so that they forget the situation that triggered the disturbing emotion (Eisenberg et al., 1996; Cassano et al., 2007; Shields et al., 2001). Examples: making another activity, distracting the child: () "I tickle her so she'll be happy" (M. 04); (*) "I stall" (M 19).
Punitive reaction	Punishing, being it by adding or withdrawing something; also when parents make the child responsible for what happened or restrict the child's emotional expression (Eisenberg et al., 1996; Cassano et al., 2007; Shields et al., 2001). Examples: increasing the tone of voice, physically hurting, making them accountable for what happened: () "I talk louder. Sometimes I spank her a little..." (F. 11); (*) "I tell him I can`t do anything, that he has to handle it himself, he lost it, it was his responsibility" (M. 06).
Minimization	Actions that diminish the importance of the child's reaction, over the expressed emotion or the issue that set it off (Eisenberg et al., 1996; Cassano et al., 2007; Shields et al., 2001). Examples: saying that the child is overreacting, that they should remember other people have it worse: () "he has no reason to feel that way" (M. 06); (*) "I`ll explain that this is not all that matters, there are other toys" (M. 08).
Disturbed Reaction	The parents themselves experience negative emotions and a feeling of disorganization facing the negative expression of the child (Melo, 2005). Examples: being angry, annoyed, stressed out about the situation: () "there have been times when I was talking and ended up angry at her..." (M. 13); (*) "I get angry because I`m attached to his things" (M. 11).
Substitution	Situations in which loss is the elicitor of the emotion and parents buy or try to obtain something similar to what was lost. Examples: buying something similar. () "we tried to buy it for him..." (F. 09); (*) I tried to buy a simiar one to see if it calmed him down" (M. 09).
"Doing nothing"	Lack of response of the parents facing the emotional expression of the children. Examples: ignoring the sadness, getting out of the situation, doing nothing. () "I don`t do anything" (F. 01); "I leave it, she`ll cry, and then the feeling goes away..." (M. 13). (*) There were no accounts in this category for the stimulus-story.

Parental Reaction	*Number of fathers that said it		* Number of mothers that said it		**Total of father occurrences	** Total of mother occurrences	χ² (p) [fathers x mothers]
	Boy	Girl	Boy	Girl	Boy and Girl	Boy and Girl
Distraction	3.84% (1)	15.38% (4)	15.38% (4)	11.53%(3)	8.77% (5)	11.29% (7)	0.38 (0.539)
Reaction focused on the problem	53.84% (14)	53.84% (14)	65.38% (17)	73.07% (19)	49.12% (28)	58.06% (36)	2.60 (0.107)
Validation of emotions	0% (0)	7.69% (2)	0% (0)	7.69% (2)	3.50% (2)	3.22% (2)	0.00 (1.000)
Punitive reaction	23.07% (6)	15.38% (4)	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	17.54% (10)	1.61% (1)	8.23 (0.004)
Minimization	7.69% (2)	11.53% (3)	23.07% (6)	19.23% (5)	8.77% (5)	17.74% (11)	2.66 (0.103)
Substitution	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	3.84% (1)	1.75% (1)	3.22% (2)	0.34 (0.558)
Disturbed Reaction	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	1.75% (1)	1.61% (1)	0.00 (1.000)
Doing nothing	7.69% (2)	11.53% (3)	3.84% (1)	3.84% (1)	8.77% (5)	3.22% (2)	1.38 (0.240)
Total	27	30	30	32	57	62

Parental Reaction to the stimulus-story	*Number of fathers that said it		* Number of mothers that said it		**Total of father occurrences	** Total of mother occurrences	χ² (p) [fathers x mothers]
	Boy	Girl	Boy	Girl	Boy and Girl	Boy and Girl	χ² (p) [fathers x mothers]
Distraction	0% (0)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	2.56% (2)	2.04 (0.153)
Reaction focused on the problem	57.69% (15)	53.84% (14)	53.84% (14)	46.15% (12)	33.33% (29)	33.33% (26)	0.35 (0.556)
Validation of emotions	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	0% (0)	0% (0)	1.14% (1)	0% (0)	1.01 (0.315)
Punitive reaction	50.00% (13)	42.30% (11)	46.20% (12)	42.30% (11)	27.58% (24)	29.46% (23)	0.04 (0.844)
Minimization	0% (0)	7.69% (2)	15.38% (4)	19.23% (5)	2.29% (2)	11.53% (9)	4.98 (0.026)
Substitution	57.69% (15)	53.84% (14)	34.61% (9)	34.61% (9)	33.33% (29)	23.07% (18)	4.70 (0.030)
Disturbed Reaction	0% (0)	0% (0)	3.84% (1)	3.84% (1)	0% (0)	2.56% (2)	2.04 (0.153)
Doing nothing	0% (0)	0% (0)	0% (0)	0% (0)	0% (0)	0% (0)	--
Total	44	41	41	39	85	80

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Universidade de São Francisco, Programa de Pós-Graduação Stricto Sensu em Psicologia R. Waldemar César da Silveira, 105, Vl. Cura D'Ars (SWIFT), Campinas - São Paulo, CEP 13045-510, Telefone: (19)3779-3771 - Campinas - SP - Brazil
E-mail: revistapsico@usf.edu.br

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[TFN1] Note. M: mother; F: father.