| 1. “I’m better, I’m happier with myself when I look in the mirror, when I relate to people too. I thought [the gender transition] only added positive things to my life. So, I don’t regret anything, I’m going to continue with my hormone therapy, with my treatments, everything as expected. I think now I’ve found a path and I’m following it.” (Priscila, Manaus) |
| 2. “In my mind, I feel like a woman inside. But on the outside, I feel the need to show […] something, but not to society. I want to show it to myself.” (M, Salvador) |
| 3. “Since I was ten years old, I started taking hormones. […] It was with a friend of mine, whom I went to school with. So, as she was more experienced in sex, as she was no longer a virgin, she secretly took contraceptive medication, so she gave it to me and I started taking it. I started taking it and, as my body began to form, a girl’s body was formed: small breasts, hips.” (Arlete, São Paulo) |
| 4. “I’ve always taken it based on the recommendation of another transgender woman, without the medical issue. The medical issue of hormones is much more recent. I’ve always taken very massive doses.” (Andreia, Salvador) |
| 5. “So, today I’m 40 years old, but I started my transition very young, from 12 to 13 years old. So, back then, it was a very different thing than it is today. We didn’t have any follow-up, from any doctor. First ‘cause the doctors didn’t even understand what a transition was.” (Michelly, São Paulo) |
| 6. “A friend of mine said there was this service in República [neighborhood]. I was already looking for something that would be more right for me to do with my body.” (Amelita, São Paulo) |
| 7. “I started on my own, then taking Perlutan at the drug store. And, after a year, I sought medical advice. At the time I had Hapvida [health insurance] and I saw an endocrinologist from the health insurance system and there she started doing some tests, asked for some tests, and I did them. She started prescribing hormones there for me to take, estradiol, which is Sandrena gel, I kept taking it and, after a while, I lost the health insurance, so I came here, to the SUS, for follow-up. I kept being followed up, all the time doing tests and monitoring hormone levels in my body, that kind of thing. But I started on my own 4 years ago, I went through 3 years of follow-up with doctors, but the first year I did it on my own.” (Priscilla, Manaus) |
| 8. “No, I’ve never taken hormones before on my own. I’ve always been very scared, because I’m very frightened of these things. They said that if we took the wrong medications, it would cause thrombosis, […] something would happen to the heart, it would block the vein and whatever. So, I’ve always been very afraid. And as I didn’t have much access to transgender people, I started trying to have closer transgender friends who had these friendships so I could be more educated, have more background, more awareness. And I only started taking hormones when the endocrine department at [Hospital de] Clínicas (Clinics Hospital) provided it to me, which are the ones I still take to date.” (Fernanda, Porto Alegre) |
| 9. “The dysphoria issue is such a big deal for every travesti, so I said that: I’m going there [São Paulo] precisely to assemble myself. […] But I wanted it faster, I wanted to speed it up. I was already taking hormones. […] Society, myself, I pressured myself to conform to the heteronormative standard, that is: the more passing a transgender woman is, and the more respected she is, the less prejudice she suffers. […] When I started my initiation, I took 4 doses of Perlutan a month, I took two 21-day contraceptive pills a day, and I still had an Evra patch on me. Look how I was overburdening my liver and kidney. […] Now I’m taking a break, ‘cause in the past I tried to use Evra on my own, my God, I almost had a heart attack, and I was used to using it. Then I had a problem with an anxiety attack and it was a whole thing.” (Michelly, São Paulo) |
| 10. “[I use hormones] on my own. I tried to be followed up, but I couldn’t. […] The psychologist was unable to assist me. And I ended up giving up.” (Elis, Campo Grande) |
| 11. “I went there [to the T outpatient clinic] twice, but then it kind of stopped too, so it seems. So, I didn’t go anymore. I went there twice. And I liked it, you know? I liked it, they were going to refer me to hormones, to all sorts of things. And I want to keep going there.” (Vitória, Porto Alegre) |
| 12. “I’m still at the beginning, I’ve been taking hormones for less than a month. […] I don’t [do medical follow-up] . I even wanted to start with a follow-up, but I heard that the outpatient clinic is closed, and a friend of mine, who is a hormone freak, said: ‘no biggie, every doctor will tell you to start with 1 milligram. Start taking it now, when you finish your pack, you’ll go see the doctor,’ but the outpatient clinic isn’t working. I have to go because I’m scared. I’m afraid of liver issues, ‘cause we know it can happen when it’s used inappropriately. But, for now, I’m taking it correctly, so I can do the tests and the follow up, to know whether to increase the dose or maintain it.” (Patrícia, Campo Grande) |
| 13. “I use it on my own. I have a referral [to do follow-up] to CEDAP [State Center for Diagnosis, Assistance and Research], but I haven’t been there yet to the follow up with the endocrinologist. I use it on my own. Before, I used to take injectable [hormones], but I found out that with injectable [hormones], the health risks are greater, so today I take pills, one a day.” (Felipa, Salvador) |
Bodies of desire: use of nonprescribed hormones among transgender women and travestis in five Brazilian capitals (2019–2021)
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